Pesky Work, Why Do IT?
TOP TEN ways to allude co-workers into thinking you are working (from the keedog). This is what i have learned from many office jobs over the years
10. Remote Desktop from home - You have access to all the files you have at work. Next thing you knowing you are sending attachments of files to co-workers they think you are in your office since those files only exist on that server, they don't know better.
9. Leave your door open to your office (if you have a cube sorry). Leave your music on and leave the document with the most clutter and words open on your screen. This will make a co-worker think you have gone to the restroom or lunch or something. More on this see 8.
8. Find an office buddy where one day you open his/her door at 7:00AM and close it 4:00PM and then the next day he does the same for you. A door open always makes people believe you are around.
7. Walk all around carrying a giant Manila Envelope. This will stop co-workers from talking to you because they will think you are on your way to deliver something important.
6. Hire a student worker to do your lying for you. An innocent young poor student will tell your supervisor you are in a meeting or fixing a problem somewhere. Of course to supplement this put bogus meetings on your calendar with really cool named or high ranking people. For me I used Betsy Hoffman and Chancelor Bynny. A variation on this method sign up for an all day event hit the breakfast buffet skip out until the 2:00 speaker pay attention there and then go back and give a presentation in your dept. Bonus points if you can setup a bogus meeting to attend!!!
5. Never check your voice mail until the box gets a 100% full. Once they realize how backed up you are they will never call again.
4. Send out meaningless emails to the group list. Try to do this like once an hour. You will win employee of the year awards.
3. Make special trips by events, such as baby showers, farewells, award ceremonies. Appearances at these will cause the whole staff to see you at once.
2. Pick up the phone and reel off F-Bombs to your own answering machine or a tape recorded message. This hostile environment will stop people from bothering you. Another thing that works is answer every phone message or email with these two words "Request Denied"
1. Act like you are working on work when really you are working on Dog Racer© all day long or NBA simulator.
10. Remote Desktop from home - You have access to all the files you have at work. Next thing you knowing you are sending attachments of files to co-workers they think you are in your office since those files only exist on that server, they don't know better.
9. Leave your door open to your office (if you have a cube sorry). Leave your music on and leave the document with the most clutter and words open on your screen. This will make a co-worker think you have gone to the restroom or lunch or something. More on this see 8.
8. Find an office buddy where one day you open his/her door at 7:00AM and close it 4:00PM and then the next day he does the same for you. A door open always makes people believe you are around.
7. Walk all around carrying a giant Manila Envelope. This will stop co-workers from talking to you because they will think you are on your way to deliver something important.
6. Hire a student worker to do your lying for you. An innocent young poor student will tell your supervisor you are in a meeting or fixing a problem somewhere. Of course to supplement this put bogus meetings on your calendar with really cool named or high ranking people. For me I used Betsy Hoffman and Chancelor Bynny. A variation on this method sign up for an all day event hit the breakfast buffet skip out until the 2:00 speaker pay attention there and then go back and give a presentation in your dept. Bonus points if you can setup a bogus meeting to attend!!!
5. Never check your voice mail until the box gets a 100% full. Once they realize how backed up you are they will never call again.
4. Send out meaningless emails to the group list. Try to do this like once an hour. You will win employee of the year awards.
3. Make special trips by events, such as baby showers, farewells, award ceremonies. Appearances at these will cause the whole staff to see you at once.
2. Pick up the phone and reel off F-Bombs to your own answering machine or a tape recorded message. This hostile environment will stop people from bothering you. Another thing that works is answer every phone message or email with these two words "Request Denied"
1. Act like you are working on work when really you are working on Dog Racer© all day long or NBA simulator.