Come on all click this link and enter to play. Read the rules and make your picks. Click Here

It looks like a little insider trading to me. LINK

I love these names. What is worse is you can never tell what they are selling by looking at the name. Well not usually I mean come on we know what Biggie Sizeme is selling. More confusing is when you get the SPAM and it just says something like "Hee hee"

Cubbyhole U. Octets
Civilian L. Inflected
Frostbites U. Hugest
Poseur L. Steroids
Stretchers B. Clarets
Brunting O. Sashes
Forbidden Fruits
Biggie Sizeme
Supper H. Brussels
Renascences Q. Vitally
Wherewithal T. Quashing
Bang J. Danish
Compartmentalizing K. Carpetbag
Canterbury H. Surefire

Christmas? Chanukah (sp.)? Winter Solstice? Are you having trouble figuring out which holiday to celebrate this year. The options are many but there is only one answer for you. Keelermas (also called other things by some) is the movement where you celebrate me. Read Darin's posting below for details and I look foward to converting you, I mean seeing you ;-)

I mean honestly why the hell does Greeley have to pay when Bush visits? $30,000 is a lot of money in that town. I bet total slaughters this week went way up. With an upslope or (plug in weather term here) that smell will make it to my house!!!! http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/3911704/detail.html

I am sorry these lyrics to this song are cracking me up.

"Underwear Goes Inside The Pants" by Lazyboy

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what’s not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural. But we got pills for that. We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?” Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is… people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean. I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now. Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs? What’s going to happen to our porno industry? These women don’t just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think? They’re not masterminds. “OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?” “Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…” “Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004. “How’d you get through it grandpa?” “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle. I’ll sit at a drive thru. I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft? Of course not. You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think, “You’ll see. I’m going to take over the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard. People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum. People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date. I’m predicting some problems during the interview process. I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy. Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

Okay we have all seen this before at the bottom of our favorite SPAM messages

assaulted refractory assaulted summitries indesirable dodded precooling. cornbird hirsuteness totemisms tidinesses pianisms bandoleers untortured. reshun hummingbird eucre woesome cumbrance practicalize hissproof compriest altarpieces. omelets armholes amentiferous

What the hell does all that mean. Who knows but on a weird occurence I actually received something that looks like a poem at the end of the last SPAM I was bored enough to read. Seems repetitive but every so often a new part of the poem pops up. Or something.

it was only a matter of time before the hurricane became a dog-shaped apology. a matter of time before the hurricane became a dog it was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath. This hurricane shaped bag of dogfood will be the end of me. This dogless hurricane. This dog forgave me. was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath.it was only a matter of time before the hurricane became a dog-shaped apology. matter of time before the hurricane became a dog it was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath. This hurricane shaped bag of dogfood will be the end of me. Th is dogless hurricane. This dog forgave me. was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath.

TOP TEN ways to allude co-workers into thinking you are working (from the keedog). This is what i have learned from many office jobs over the years

10. Remote Desktop from home - You have access to all the files you have at work. Next thing you knowing you are sending attachments of files to co-workers they think you are in your office since those files only exist on that server, they don't know better.

9. Leave your door open to your office (if you have a cube sorry). Leave your music on and leave the document with the most clutter and words open on your screen. This will make a co-worker think you have gone to the restroom or lunch or something. More on this see 8.

8. Find an office buddy where one day you open his/her door at 7:00AM and close it 4:00PM and then the next day he does the same for you. A door open always makes people believe you are around.

7. Walk all around carrying a giant Manila Envelope. This will stop co-workers from talking to you because they will think you are on your way to deliver something important.

6. Hire a student worker to do your lying for you. An innocent young poor student will tell your supervisor you are in a meeting or fixing a problem somewhere. Of course to supplement this put bogus meetings on your calendar with really cool named or high ranking people. For me I used Betsy Hoffman and Chancelor Bynny. A variation on this method sign up for an all day event hit the breakfast buffet skip out until the 2:00 speaker pay attention there and then go back and give a presentation in your dept. Bonus points if you can setup a bogus meeting to attend!!!

5. Never check your voice mail until the box gets a 100% full. Once they realize how backed up you are they will never call again.

4. Send out meaningless emails to the group list. Try to do this like once an hour. You will win employee of the year awards.

3. Make special trips by events, such as baby showers, farewells, award ceremonies. Appearances at these will cause the whole staff to see you at once.

2. Pick up the phone and reel off F-Bombs to your own answering machine or a tape recorded message. This hostile environment will stop people from bothering you. Another thing that works is answer every phone message or email with these two words "Request Denied"

1. Act like you are working on work when really you are working on Dog Racer© all day long or NBA simulator.

I got an email a few weeks or maybe i saw it posted here but okay here it goes. Rotate your right foot clockwise now at the same time point your right finger out and rotate it counter-clockwise...... Were you unsucessful??. I think something with your whole right brain, left brain thing (sorry cannot be more scientific here) makes this near impossible to pull off. But it is trippy and i have practiced it for hours at work out of pure boredom. Once in awhile I can overcome, half of the time somehow my knee locks up??????