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2004/10/29

Was Bush Wired in the First Debate?

Here's the content of an interview w/ a respected NASA scientist that spent his off-hours analyzing a video of the president with Photoshop. He stakes his 'repuation' that Bush had some type of device on his back during the debate.

Quote from the article:
Picture Analysis
For the past week, while at home, using his own computers, and off the clock at Caltech and NASA, Nelson has been analyzing images of the president's back during the debates. A professional physicist and photo analyst for more than 30 years, he speaks earnestly and thoughtfully about his subject. "I am willing to stake my scientific reputation to the statement that Bush was wearing something under his jacket during the debate," he says. "This is not about a bad suit. And there's no way the bulge can be described as a wrinkled shirt."
Source: Erik B: Link to Salon.com's article

2004/10/28

Ring the Bell

Check this one out, thanks Ramiro for finding this one. Sometimes football guy cheerleaders get a little too into their duties... In this case, the duty was ringing the victory bell.

Short, hilarious video clip.

Source: Ramiro, well done

2004/10/26

This song

I am sorry these lyrics to this song are cracking me up.

"Underwear Goes Inside The Pants" by Lazyboy

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what’s not natural? 80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural. But we got pills for that. We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?” Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is… people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean. I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now. Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs? What’s going to happen to our porno industry? These women don’t just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east. Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think? They’re not masterminds. “OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?” “Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…” “Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004. “How’d you get through it grandpa?” “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle. I’ll sit at a drive thru. I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft? Of course not. You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think, “You’ll see. I’m going to take over the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard. People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it. Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum. People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date. I’m predicting some problems during the interview process. I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy. Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

2004/10/25

Washington Redskins decide the Presidential Race

Every time the Washington Redskins have won the football game before election day, the incumbant's party continues to hold the presdiency. It is a true statement since 'Skin's first game in the 30's.

The 'big game' for this year's election is this Sunday: Washington Redskins versus Green Bay Packers. So what that means is that instead of plastering pro-Kerry stuff all over this blog, I'm going to say: "Go get 'em Pack! Stop the war in Iraq!"

Source: Link to Article on snopes.com

2004/10/22

Go Buffs!

I'm going down to College Station, Texas to watch the Texas A&M Aggies play the Colorado Buffaloes in a football game for the ages. That is if CU doesn't get blown out. Well regardless, I'm gonna head down friday and see what the town has to offer and then try to score some bleacher seats in the one of the endzones in the morning. Go Buffs!

2004/10/21

Potential Spam

Okay we have all seen this before at the bottom of our favorite SPAM messages

assaulted refractory assaulted summitries indesirable dodded precooling. cornbird hirsuteness totemisms tidinesses pianisms bandoleers untortured. reshun hummingbird eucre woesome cumbrance practicalize hissproof compriest altarpieces. omelets armholes amentiferous

What the hell does all that mean. Who knows but on a weird occurence I actually received something that looks like a poem at the end of the last SPAM I was bored enough to read. Seems repetitive but every so often a new part of the poem pops up. Or something.

it was only a matter of time before the hurricane became a dog-shaped apology. a matter of time before the hurricane became a dog it was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath. This hurricane shaped bag of dogfood will be the end of me. This dogless hurricane. This dog forgave me. was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath.it was only a matter of time before the hurricane became a dog-shaped apology. matter of time before the hurricane became a dog it was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath. This hurricane shaped bag of dogfood will be the end of me. Th is dogless hurricane. This dog forgave me. was only a matter of time before a dog-shaped apology became a hurricane. This hurricane dog, this is the best birthday present i've ever gotten even better than the time the thermometer gave me a chocolate bath.

2004/10/20

Mindball: Game of the Future?

Who's the coolest under pressure? Is that the same person that can keep their alpha waves and theta waves down to a minimum? Even today that question can be answered, enter the latest invention I've encountered: Mindball. The game is simple, there is a metal ball sitting on a table between two players. Each player has a headband that detects that player's brain waves. Whichever player can 'chill out' the most will have the ball roll towards them. Sounds like a pretty sweet game, yours for the price of $20,000. Company: Interactive Productline in Sweeden.

Source: Link to boingboing.net article
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Recommended Penis Enlargement Methods For Male Enhancement - posted by - 1/3/2008 22:04:56
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Peruvian Bacon

Mmmmm I ate this delicacy while travelling in Peru... I'll post this picture at a later date. :)

Source: Found by Ryan S, Link to Yahoo Article

2004/10/19

More Sean Connery News

Just when y'all think I needlessly created a new topic for Sean Connery related material, I go off and find interesting Sean Connery news. The government of Panama had extended a diplomatic passport to Mr. Connery, but now they have revoked that passport. You really have to wonder why they gave him diplomatic priveledge while he was visiting the country in 2003, but we all know the answer to that. (Can anyone say: License to Kill?)

Source: Link to Article

2004/10/18

Sean Connery Update

http://www.yourethemannowdog.com.

2004/10/14

Pesky Work, Why Do IT?

TOP TEN ways to allude co-workers into thinking you are working (from the keedog). This is what i have learned from many office jobs over the years

10. Remote Desktop from home - You have access to all the files you have at work. Next thing you knowing you are sending attachments of files to co-workers they think you are in your office since those files only exist on that server, they don't know better.

9. Leave your door open to your office (if you have a cube sorry). Leave your music on and leave the document with the most clutter and words open on your screen. This will make a co-worker think you have gone to the restroom or lunch or something. More on this see 8.

8. Find an office buddy where one day you open his/her door at 7:00AM and close it 4:00PM and then the next day he does the same for you. A door open always makes people believe you are around.

7. Walk all around carrying a giant Manila Envelope. This will stop co-workers from talking to you because they will think you are on your way to deliver something important.

6. Hire a student worker to do your lying for you. An innocent young poor student will tell your supervisor you are in a meeting or fixing a problem somewhere. Of course to supplement this put bogus meetings on your calendar with really cool named or high ranking people. For me I used Betsy Hoffman and Chancelor Bynny. A variation on this method sign up for an all day event hit the breakfast buffet skip out until the 2:00 speaker pay attention there and then go back and give a presentation in your dept. Bonus points if you can setup a bogus meeting to attend!!!

5. Never check your voice mail until the box gets a 100% full. Once they realize how backed up you are they will never call again.

4. Send out meaningless emails to the group list. Try to do this like once an hour. You will win employee of the year awards.

3. Make special trips by events, such as baby showers, farewells, award ceremonies. Appearances at these will cause the whole staff to see you at once.

2. Pick up the phone and reel off F-Bombs to your own answering machine or a tape recorded message. This hostile environment will stop people from bothering you. Another thing that works is answer every phone message or email with these two words "Request Denied"

1. Act like you are working on work when really you are working on Dog Racer© all day long or NBA simulator.

2004/10/13

Jumphook Music Page Added

I keep getting music recommendations and promptly forgetting to check them out, so I'm starting static page dedicated to remembering these songs. Check it out at: http://www.jumphook.com/music. If anyone has any songs that one must check out, drop me an email at musiccritic@jumphook.com and I will update the list. Maybe it will eventually be some sort of Wiki that can be edited by anyone. Oh well something for me to think about and experiment with. I'll keep the world posted on what turns out.

Old-Skool Keedog


2004/10/12

Beloved Austin Treasure THUMPed

Lance Holy crap I'll wear whatever Lance Armstrong wears, he's the king of Austin. If you can tear your eyes away from Lance, check out his shades -- Oakley Thump -- a new invention from Oakley. They've taken the music out of the iPod and squished it into flash memory in the frames of a pair of sunglasses. Something tells me you will not be able to find these for 3 bucks across the Mexican border...

Despite the fact that 99% of the population does not look like the sunglass models on Oakley website (check out their promo shots) -- they seem pretty cool. There's a high-speed USB connection to upload music one side and the volume controls, next/prev buttons are all on the other sunglass 'stem'. I have to wonder how heavy these get after very long, but I'm sure it be fun joggin with these on. Software is supported on both the PC and the Mac.

Source: Jack F - Link to Article

2004/10/11

Vote for Kerry

kerry the douchebag

This Website
is a pretty damn funny link. But it does make an honest point, for those who are just anti-Bush and not quite pro-Kerry; this site provides some reasons why you should just go ahead and vote for Kerry anwyway!

2004/10/05

ACL and Tampa Pictures are up!

Go Broncos! Austin City Limits and Tampa Bay Trip Photos Posted Here It's been far too long since I've blogged, but I'm still out there, making memories by the dozen. And thanks to the Tampa trip, I erased a few of those memories as well :)

Austin City Limits A short walk across the river, and Deanna and I got to enjoy 3 days of quality music. We saw: Dashboard Confessional, Modest Mouse, Sheryl Crow, Ben Harper, Cake, Terri Hendrix, Pat Green, and a whole bunch more. Concerts by day, crazy 6th Street-ness by night. Can't beat that!

Tampa Bay Went to watch the broncos play and stay at Tysons down at the Kappa-Sigma-Post-Undergrads chapter in Tampa. The nightlife was insane, and it included a party bus with a keg and a stripper pole. The gambling was insane, because Tyson knows 3 bookies and he can only bet with 1 of them thanks to Kyle Ester. The Denver Broncos - Tampa Bay Bucs game was insane because we ended up on the 50 yard line for a twenty dollar ticket.

2004/10/04

B to the E

Be: what does that mean to you? It will mean a new beer made by Budweiser that is infused with energy drink. The polar opposite of low-carb beers like Michelob Ultra, this one is chock full of sugar, 6.6% alcohol, caffeine, ginseng, and a brazillian berry named guarana. The beer will be called Be and is pronounced "B to the E". The release date for this new late-night beverage has not been announced.

Source: Link to Article
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